| Sunday was sunny and bright and airy and there was a baseball game on in Ole Miss U so Brock Hudson, who looks more like “Sweep the leg Johnny” Johnny from Karate Kid everyday, drove us there in the back of his pick-up truck. The Kieran, Max and Johnny express, we were like fun-loving dogs, furry ears flapping in the warm wind, waving at people in traffic and soaking up as much sunshine as our pores could handle. Found seats overlooking 3rd base. Closest to 3rd base some of the lads had been in quite a while. Ole Miss were winning 8-3 and it was the bottom of the 8th...closest thing to a bottom some of the lads...etc, etc...WHAT? Anyway, drank ice-cold coca-colas and cheered anything and everything and saw a sign on the other side of the field which read “K K K K K.” Max though it might be “Knights of the Klu Klux Klan Klub” or something and Kieran suddenly felt conscious of the fact that he was shouting KKK and laughing about it in public...no shame in that. Arranged to meet some of our new Oxford friends to go on a nice forest walk. Kerry, Lizzy and Hannah are all actors studying at the University. We've changed their names to protect them because they're really called Olivia Newton John, Mark Wahlberg and Max Von Sydow and if people ever found out that they were living in Oxford they'd harass them for worn pairs of Calvin Klein undies and The Seventh Seal commemorative chess sets and Grease-proof paper and other junk and they hate that.
They led us through a leafless forest, yellow and ocher everywhere. Soft ground, fresh air and good company and we were happy, although the place had a bit of a smelly mountain raper vibe to it. The kind of place where Burt Reynolds' friends are massaged against their will and get compliments about their mouths. That film really makes the idea of pulled pork even funnier than it normally sounds. Anyway, went to High Point Cafe for rehydration and caffeine and chats and planning for our evening out. Mexican food in El Milagro Taqueria and a movie. Delicious soft corn tortilla tacos with pork, hard shell tacos with minced beef and steak fajitas, all with guacamole and sour cream and lettuce and salsa valentina, no me digas wey! The waitress was about 14 months pregnant...probably a Mexican theme restaurant thing or something...it definitely made the experience seem more genuine...is that racist?...probably or maybe just a very very very very very ignorant thing to say. Strike it from the record. The food was great and the artwork on the tables was even more impressive. Disco conquistadors and camp Aztec warriors who clearly figured out the 8 minute abs workout hundreds of years before it was cool....sexy Mexican maids and other deadly stuff. They also have Karaoke. Must be my favourite combination of things in general.
Went to the cinema. Split up. Max went to “Cop Out” with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan while Kieran and Johnny took in “The Wolfman” with Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. Upon meeting up after the showings the lads shared their marks out of ten. “The Wolfman” received a glittering 2 out of 10...because, according to Kieran it had a bit where the wolf went, “raaaaaaarrrr.....RAAAAAARRRRR?????” “Cop Out” got 1 out of 10 and Max still felt that was generous. If he had known it was made by Kevin Smith then he would have gone to see “Valentine's Day” with Jessica Alba and Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel and Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher and all his other favourite acting people who weren't in “Cop Out” and probably haven't worked on anything with Kevin Smith and he would have given it a 10 out of 10 for not being “Cop Out” and for being about love and normal people who love each other and Valentine's day and stuff like that....and that.
The only cure for shit films like those was going to bed and falling asleep so that we didn't have to think about anything anymore. Sleep is genius! |
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