| Tuesday: As it turns out, Tuesday was actually the second half of Monday. The lads were so disoriented by a combination of hard graft, excitement and unsettling sobriety that what they thought was one day was really two whole working days rolled into one. Monday was really spent getting the drum part perfect. Doesn’t seem like much but if and when you hear it you’ll understand. The snare drum will tickle your belly and make you giggle while the bass drum will wobble your lower bits and make you wiggle. Because Monday and Tuesday are now covered this gives us an opportunity to tell a few jokes: What did the 0 say to the number 8?.................Hey, nice belt! How do you kill a circus? ...................Go for the juggler! Two cows in a field. One turns to the other and says,”Mooooo.” To which the other replies, “Ah ya bastard! I was gonna say that.” How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach?...........It’s not hard! (Ha ha, that’s his pee pee) Why was Croatia afraid of Bosnia?........Because Bosnia Herzegovina. (J.H.) What do you call a closet full of lesbians?..............A liquor cabinet. Did you hear about the gay midget?...........He came out of the cupboard. Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?..............He opened a warehouse. God said to Moses, “Come forth and win all eternity.” .........He came 5th and won a toaster. Why did the girl fall off the swing?.............Cos she had no arms. What’s brown and sticky?.............A brown stick. - Wow, this is amazing fun. Let’s keep going. Why are there no casinos in China?..............Cos they hate Tibet. Who are the nicest people in the hospital?..........The ultrasound people. (D.O.D.) Why is the ocean wet?.............Cos the seaweed. A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office with his naked body wrapped in cling film and the doctor says, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts.” What did the Mexican say when his house went on fire and fell on top of him?.......Hey, get off me homes! What are the sexiest animals on the farm?........Brown chicken brown cow! (Done in the style of a wah wah guitar to sound like bow chicka bow wow, of course...but you already knew that) Why do women wear make-up and perfume? ...............Cos they’re ugly and smelly. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?..........Juan on Juan. What did the left nut say to the right nut? ..........That lad in the middle thinks he is so hard! Why did the fish get kicked out of school? .............Cause he was caught with seaweed. Did you hear about the dwarf that got his hole?.............His mates put him up to it. Why don’t tennis players get married?...........Cos love means nothing.......OUCH! What do you call a Spanish man who’s lost his car?..........Carlos. These jokes have taken a turn for the worse and are now Christmas cracker gags so we’ll stop now. It was good at one stage but not anymore. Let’s change the subject and talk about something else.......like? |
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