| Week 4: Monday: Rested and raring to go, we got to the studio ready to start recording or “tracking,” as the music type people like to call it. “Oh Dennis, Oh Dennis, what will we start with?” Cried Hoarsebox. “Ummm, let me see,” said Dennis, rubbing his chinny chin chin. “How about Add It Up!” He said as the boys jumped up and down and gave each other cool high fives and froze in the air while their memorable and adorable theme tune played in the background and the credits rolled.....introducing Johnny Holden as “Keys,” Kieran Walkin as “Low-Fi,” Max Carpio as “StixxX” and Philip Broadbery as “Chops.” Anyway, Max spent a little time with Kyle the engineer and Michael the tech getting an incredible drum sound using our cunning and wits and pieces of notepaper and a subway travelcard and some chewing gum and a McGyver DVD and a few giggles. We all played the songs together in the main room. Max has never sounded so expensive. Everything he touched sounded like it had to be cleaned by a snooker referee every two minutes and owned its own villa in Marbella...blah blah blah...expensive. We’re spoiled. Max did a couple of warm up takes and that was it. Technology polished his turds, or at least Will, the strong and silent intern did on pro-tools. Max doesn’t mind as long as his drum turds look like something out of “Avatar: 3-D”. Once the drum track was down we moved on to concentrate on the other instruments. Bass next and Kieran couldn’t believe how posh he could sound. He was like Julia Roberts riding Richard Gere for a new dress and a necklace. His bass sound was, is, will be from the future. Everything he played sounded like he was a famed futuristic Jazz bassist named Pancho Zeep-LaFornier that would play solo concerts in the International Concert Hall on a massive spaceship in Battlestar Gallactica...or something? It was starting to come together. We stopped for a wheatgrass with ginger shot and smoothie break, as you do before Space Monkey got his nappy changed a couple of times and was re-programmed to make things work a little better. Then Phil got his turn at sounding mega. He had a couple of goes and nailed it, like the semi-professional that he is right now and won’t be for long if this all works out. His fingers sounded like Kobe Beef that was massaged by Kim Kardashian while she was bathing in milk and was being massaged herself by Julia Roberts in her new dress/necklace combo. Priceless really. Johnny spent a little time having fun twisting knobs and fiddling with buttons to make funny swooshy sounds and zeeeeooooooooo noises that laid a colourful smorgasbord down for us to play with later when we sing. Everything was great and we were happy and proud. Dennis was steering the ship, and rocking the boat and manning the lifeboats as we floated off into musical El Dorado. Enough was done so we stopped for our customary late dinner. More Japanese. MORE JAPANESE! We could eat beer with chopsticks now if we needed to...but thankfully we don’t. Bedtime. |
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